fear laden pillow stains

Restless nights as my dreams bleed
Unto a half woken reality
Contemplating do I freely choose to think
Or merely do so out of conditioning
As I lay in darkened room outside
A macabre hallway where my fears lay
I soon realize that insanity is to be self aware
What comes tomorrow may be more fearful than today
And what fears are there to come, may they all be in your head

truth of being in love

I wish someone would love me
The same way that I love you
But perhaps someone has loved me as such
And I too have turned them away

By chance I will be known for the words I write
And you my greatest unrequited love
And by chance you will be smitten by the words I wrote
As the grass grows upon my grave


the morn

Like the sight of spring to winter worn eyes
Like a breath of morning air onto coal tested lungs
You have become a cheese cloth removing my impurities
What dawn is to come to end the wickedness of the heart
The hue of light upon that morn is reminiscent of you


Shadow casted by my heart
Therein where my soul lies
Distant from my spirits content
Yet pressing my will to live
Shadow of my intellect
Whereas what ludicrous thoughts
Have now long lived
The shadow cast by your goodbye
Where my love has come to die
No spoken soliloquy or eulogy to be read
Just another heart reaped
From a lovers discontent

prevailing light

As the sound of morning
Whispers upon the prevailing dawn
How I envy the light
Breaking through your window
And resting upon your side
I wish the cost of all my remaining breaths
That we could lie together and watch
My final dawn’s arrival as I speak
The words I have written for thee;
Such words are but an allegory
Of how my love shall never be
And all contemporary and archaic thoughts
Upon love and love loss
Are merely embellishments
Of a time since lost

to be but a part

Meeting you was as if
I had spent thirty years
in silence then for it to be abruptly ended
By Mendelssohn playing softly
If there was a history of the few
Who dared to dream and no one knew
I would want these annals to speak
Of how such a beauty undeservedly loved me

in such a world

The more I look deeply into
Life and reality that it has come to be
It doesn’t seem to make sense to me
As though it was reflection Of something
That it was never meant to be
Time as well was once a sturdy train
That seemed quite understandable
Now all but the tracks have vanished.
As though I am standing with one foot out the door
Cleverly I piece this and that together
Using rationality to not fall prey
Yet it seems I died many years ago
Before the renaissance of my mind
And I am just living a continuation
Of a personal reality whereas no one else is here
That is why I need you, to hold me here
To be my anchor of life just to let me know
By the touch and feel your skin, that you are real